Dear Mom,

This has been filling my heart since the approach of Mother's Day. It is at an overflowing point that my soul can not hold any longer without pouring out in words.

I want to be a mother. But not just any kind. I want to be like you.

I want to be at home with my children and teach them the workings of the world. To guide them through their early years and watch them grow in to independent, loving beings. To allow them the freedom of imagination and not be limited to routine schooling. To learn naturally and through real life experiences.

I want my children to grow up nurturing and tending to animals. To milk a goat and reap the benefits. To muck manure to fertilize a garden. To be able to identify the needs of those that can not help themselves and respond with care. To raise from a young age, little creatures as a part of their family.

I want to protect my children from the unholiness of the world, and raise them to be better. I want them to see how precious life is and value family. To be able to introduce them slowly to and stand against the common way; and to live to be above. Because I, like you have, will believe in them and know they are capable of so much.

Over the past few weeks, I have been imagining what sort of mother I would want to be (when the time would come). The more I imagine, the more I realize how much that looks like you. 

As I confess this, I am filled with tears of gratitude for the life that you gave me. I could not have asked for any better. I loved my childhood, even more so now then while living it. I want that for my children. Without you, I am not sure I would have discovered this. Thank you for showing me how to be a mother. I love you.


Your Eldest,

Kaley

Holiday cinnamon rolls with eggs.

Church ready.

Tennis. Spencer's friend brought his puppy to play, too.

Mancala

Roast and green bean casserole.

Spencer's birthday:

On the phone with Justin.

Pulled pork for dinner

Spencer shares a birthday with Logan, my youngest brother, so we Skyped my family and got to watch both of them open gifts.

Opening gift from the Jones family.

Card from Grandma Apostolos.

Card from his parents.

I love his nose wrinkle!

Opening the gift from his wife.

Lots of camping/hiking/survival stuff.

New overnight pack.

Pumpkin cheesecake. 21.

Spencer wanted to go camping for his birthday, so that weekend we did. Spencer's friend brought along his pit-bull puppy who took it upon herself to wake Spencer up in the morning by licking his face off.

After setting up camp, we took an afternoon nap and read a bit from the book of Job.

Muscles gathering firewood.

Spencer putting his birthday gifts to use. Here he is using flint and steel to start a fire in his pocket stove. It took him a while to get the hang of it, but he finally did. His first time starting a fire this way.

Hiking the next morning.

I have jury duty June AND July. 3 hours away. Gross.

Taking "our" baby for a ride. We are the best babysitters/kidnappers.